Who Stole My Car

Yo jeff whats up holmes
Yo Whats up prince
Yo whats up man
Ay wheres my car at
Wheres your car why you asking me
No I parked my car right here your standing here wheres my car
I been ere for an hour and a half I ain't seen it
Come on man stop playing jeff wheres my car at
No I'm serious man it's not in my pocket I haven't seen your car
Jeff wheres my car I parked my car right here man
I don't know!

Now a joke is a joke and fun and games are chill
But this isn't funny this is straight up ill
Now there's a limit to humour and this is gone too far
I ain't laughing no more y'all now who stole my car
I don't know man

I don't know if y'all ever had a car stolen before
But it's a real crazy feeling when you walk out the door
And you don't need a map or any kind of chart
That your standing in the spot where your car used to be parked
Now you know you parked your car their but yet you keep looking
Cause your mind didn't except yet that somebody took it
So your scratching your head and trying to get things clear and
theres always some idiot who says
You sure you parked here
To call the police would be the move that's smart
But instead you keep looking where you know you didn't park
Searching for reasons like maybe tickets you owed
Something to justify that maybe it got towed
But not stolen naa never forget it
But then you ask yourself well where the hell is it
If there was a prize you'd win dummy of the year
Cause you looking somewhere else when you know you parked it
here
So to never never land you find yourself strolling
And when you finally except that its stolen
You call the police and they come and say
That's the 437th car stolen today
As if that's something that he really needed to mention
Then they start asking you real dumb questions like
When's the last time that you saw it
You idiot right before they stole it
Now your mad this cop is talking to you
And somebody's in your car heading to kalamazoo
Officer fool or whoever you are can you please get off your butt
and find who stole my car

I remember my first car never forget it
A candy red apple irub windows be tinted
Talk about fast like a rocket to drive
When from zero to 60 in like 5 point 5
And matching red rims but that wasn't enough
It had a ca phone for when I wanted to reach out and touch
An alpine stereo that straight up rocked
With 12 inch woofers you could hear for blocks
The first day I got it I was fronting real hard
I could hear people saying damn look at that car
I was hyped and I wanted my friends to check it out
So I went to the spot where they usually hangin out
Just my luck nobody standing outside
I really didn't feel like parking my ride
So I honked my horn but nobody was coming
I said what the heck I ran inside and left it running
I was inside for 20 seconds that's all
I found my friends and said you gotta check this out y'all
But when we came back out the car wasn't there
Man you ain't buy nothing I did I swear
My friends went inside I was mad they didn't believe me
Now I'm standing outside at the spot my car used to be
It was hard to figure out what to do all alone
But then I got it call the car phone

Fresh princes car
Yo thief bring my car back now before I bust your
Hold up wait a minute pal
Seems like you kinda forgot the keys
I thought man he's right well bring it back please
Hello listen thief don't hang up
Then luckily jeff pulled up
I told him what had happened someone's stolen my car
I said come on jeff lets get him he cant be far
We rode around for about 20 minutes
When we were just about to say forget it
When I spotted him
I said jeff go get it
We pulled up behind him and man he jetted
He was driving all wild and fast like he was getting points for
the stuff that he crashed
I called him on the car phone again and I said
Of course you realise when I catch you your dead
All through philly was a high speed chasin
Dude was playing around like he thought we was racing
A hundred miles an our and he lost control
And slammed my car into a telephone pole
I ran to the car I said man you okay
He said yeah so I punched him in the face
The cops came up as if it was my fault
They say me punch dude and charged me with assault
If his neck was closer I probably would have grabbed it
He told the cops that I said he could have it
I calmed down and they got things straight
I saw half my car in seventh street the other half in eighth
I wanna just jump in the ocean
My car looked like it was a leggo explosion
Why does life have to be so hard
Don't laugh next time it could be your car