1. 1

    Wilbur Soot - Your New Boyfriend

  2. 2

    Wilbur Soot - It's All Futile! It's All Pointless!

  3. 3

    Wilbur Soot - Losing Face

  4. 4

    Wilbur Soot - Since I Saw Vienna

  5. 5

    Wilbur Soot - Amazon Standing Lamp

  6. 6

    Wilbur Soot - I Don't Think It Will Ever End

  7. 7

    Wilbur Soot - Soft Boy

  8. 8

    Wilbur Soot - Your Sister Was Right

  9. 9

    Wilbur Soot - 10 Week Rule

  10. 10

    Wilbur Soot - Around The Pomegranate

  11. 11

    Wilbur Soot - Eulogy

  12. 12

    Wilbur Soot - I Am Very Smart

  13. 13

    Wilbur Soot - I'm In Love With An E-girl

  14. 14

    Wilbur Soot - Internet Ruined Me

  15. 15

    Wilbur Soot - Jubilee Line

  16. 16

    Wilbur Soot - L'manberg Anthem

  17. 17

    Wilbur Soot - La Jolla

  18. 18

    Wilbur Soot - Melatonin 130

  19. 19

    Wilbur Soot - Oh Distant You

  20. 20

    Wilbur Soot - Trying Not To Think About It

  21. 21

    Wilbur Soot - Diegetic Little Freak

  22. 22

    Wilbur Soot - Dropshipped Cat Shirt

  23. 23

    Wilbur Soot - For Memories

  24. 24

    Wilbur Soot - Glass Chalet

  25. 25

    Wilbur Soot - Goodnight

  26. 26

    Wilbur Soot - I'm Sorry Boris

  27. 27

    Wilbur Soot - Karen, Please Come Back, I Miss The Kids

  28. 28

    Wilbur Soot - Maybe I Was Boring

  29. 29

    Wilbur Soot - Mine / Yours

  30. 30

    Wilbur Soot - Saline Solution

  31. 31

    Wilbur Soot - Screensaver

  32. 32

    Wilbur Soot - The "Nice Guy" Ballad

  33. 33

    Wilbur Soot - The Median

  34. 34

    Wilbur Soot - The Squid Song

  35. 35

    Wilbur Soot - White Wine In a Wetherspoons

The "Nice Guy" Ballad

Wilbur Soot

Hello, no one is available to take your call
Please leave a message after the tone (beep)
You're a fucking bitch Sarah, I swear to God
I'm gonna find you, and (beep)
Hey Sarah, I just wanted to say sorry for my last message
I'm just a little angry at the moment, 'cause it's
Y'know, I'm such a nice guy and you seem to only date scumbags
I just wanted to make sure there's no hard feelings between us
Please, please can you unblock me on MSN Messenger? (beep)

M’lady
Can you hear me?
Please don’t block my number again
Look, I've jumped through all your hoops
We got off on the wrong foot
But I want to prove to you
That I’m not obsessed with sex

Left on seen
Another visit to your Facebook gallery
This time not to masturbate
But instead, to appreciate
Something no man could do as well as I can
Something that shouldn’t be for free
Because I’m the only guy for you
And you’re the only girl for me

So why won’t you
Show me your tits?

That restraining order
Was a bit far
All I did was attach a tracker onto your car
It’s not a felony
It’s not even a crime
I just wanted to make sure
You weren't seeing any other guys

Who am I kidding?
A girl as pure as you
Would never go for a man like me
Because you are what reality is made of
Even the part that’s gritty

So why won’t you
Show me your tits?
Consensually
(I’m a gentleman what can I say? I'm also really mentally stable)

I’m gonna kill myself
If you don’t go out with me
I mean, it’s a stretch
But blood is my dichotomy
I mean, come on
I wrote you a fucking song
I wouldn’t have done this if you weren’t an attractive womon
(Not, Not that you’re just a woman to me, I mean I'm a really sensitive guy
I can, I can see below the skin)

So why won’t you
Show me your tits?

This isn’t where it ends
We all make our mistakes
And the world will keep on turning
But it turns a lot slower
When you’re not around
I’ll settle for a picture of your feet

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