1. 1

    Tom Lehrer - The Masochism Tango

  2. 2

    Tom Lehrer - It Makes A Fellow Proud To Be A Soldier

  3. 3

    Tom Lehrer - I Hold Your Hand In Mine

  4. 4

    Tom Lehrer - Alma

  5. 5

    Tom Lehrer - My Home Town

  6. 6

    Tom Lehrer - Poisoning Pigeons In The Park

  7. 7

    Tom Lehrer - The Elements

  8. 8

    Tom Lehrer - The Hunting Song

  9. 9

    Tom Lehrer - The Wild West Is Where I Want To Be

  10. 10

    Tom Lehrer - When You Are Old And Gray

  11. 11

    Tom Lehrer - A Christmas Carol

  12. 12

    Tom Lehrer - I Wanna Go Back To Dixie

  13. 13

    Tom Lehrer - So Long, Mom (A Song for World War III)

  14. 14

    Tom Lehrer - The Irish Ballad

  15. 15

    Tom Lehrer - The Wiener Schnitzel Waltz

  16. 16

    Tom Lehrer - Vatican Rag

  17. 17

    Tom Lehrer - We Will All Go Together When We Go

  18. 18

    Tom Lehrer - Be Prepared

  19. 19

    Tom Lehrer - Bright College Days

  20. 20

    Tom Lehrer - Clementine

  21. 21

    Tom Lehrer - Everybody Eat

  22. 22

    Tom Lehrer - Fight Fiercely, Harvard!

  23. 23

    Tom Lehrer - George Murphy

  24. 24

    Tom Lehrer - I Got It From Agnes

  25. 25

    Tom Lehrer - In Old Mexico

  26. 26

    Tom Lehrer - L-Y

  27. 27

    Tom Lehrer - Lobachevsky

  28. 28

    Tom Lehrer - MLF Lullaby

  29. 29

    Tom Lehrer - National Brotherhood Week

  30. 30

    Tom Lehrer - New Math

  31. 31

    Tom Lehrer - Oedipus Rex

  32. 32

    Tom Lehrer - Pollution

  33. 33

    Tom Lehrer - Send The Marines

  34. 34

    Tom Lehrer - She's My Girl

  35. 35

    Tom Lehrer - Silent E

  36. 36

    Tom Lehrer - Smut

  37. 37

    Tom Lehrer - Thanksgiving

  38. 38

    Tom Lehrer - That's Mathematics

  39. 39

    Tom Lehrer - The Derivative Song

  40. 40

    Tom Lehrer - The Folk Song Army

  41. 41

    Tom Lehrer - The Old Dope Peddler

  42. 42

    Tom Lehrer - The Professor's Song

  43. 43

    Tom Lehrer - There's A Delta For Every Epsilon

  44. 44

    Tom Lehrer - Whatever Became of Hubert?

  45. 45

    Tom Lehrer - Who's Next?

New Math

Tom Lehrer

You can't take three from two,
Two is less than three,
So you look at the four in the tens place.
Now that's really four tens,
So you make it three tens,
Regroup, and you change a ten to ten ones,
And you add them to the two and get twelve,
And you take away three, that's nine.
Is that clear?

Now instead of four in the tens place
You've got three,
'Cause you added one,
That is to say, ten, to the two,
But you can't take seven from three,
So you look in the hundreds place.

From the three you then use one
To make ten ones...
(And you know why four plus minus one
Plus ten is fourteen minus one?
'Cause addition is commutative, right.)
And so you have thirteen tens,
And you take away seven,
And that leaves five...

Well, six actually.
But the idea is the important thing.

Now go back to the hundreds place,
And you're left with two.
And you take away one from two,
And that leaves...?

Everybody get one?
Not bad for the first day!

Hooray for new math,
New-hoo-hoo-math,
It won't do you a bit of good to review math.
It's so simple,
So very simple,
That only a child can do it!
Now that actually is not the answer that I had in mind, because the book that I
got this problem out of wants you to do it in base eight. But don't panic. Base
eight is just like base ten really - if you're missing two fingers. Shall we
have a go at it? Hang on.

You can't take three from two,
Two is less than three,
So you look at the four in the eights place.
Now that's really four eights,
So you make it three eights,
Regroup, and you change an eight to eight ones,
And you add them to the two,
and you get one-two base eight,
Which is ten base ten,
And you take away three, that's seven.

Now instead of four in the eights place
You've got three,
'Cause you added one,
That is to say, eight, to the two,
But you can't take seven from three,
So you look at the sixty-fours.

"Sixty-four? How did sixty-four get into it?" I hear you cry.
Well, sixty-four is eight squared, don't you see?
(Well, you ask a silly question, and you get a silly answer.)

From the three you then use one
To make eight ones,
And you add those ones to the three,
And you get one-three base eight,
Or, in other words,
In base ten you have eleven,
And you take away seven,
And seven from eleven is four.
Now go back to the sixty-fours,
And you're left with two,
And you take away one from two,
And that leaves...?

Now, let's not always see the same hands.
One, that's right!
Whoever got one can stay after the show and clean the erasers.

Hooray for new math,
New-hoo-hoo-math,
It won't do you a bit of good to review math.
It's so simple,
So very simple,
That only a child can do it!

Come back tomorrow night. We're gonna do fractions.
Now I've often thought I'd like to write a mathematics text book someday because I have
a title that I know will sell a million copies. I'm gonna call it Tropic Of
Calculus.

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