1. 1

    Primus - South Park Theme

  2. 2

    Primus - My Name Is Mud

  3. 3

    Primus - John The Fisherman

  4. 4

    Primus - Jerry Was A Race Car Driver

  5. 5

    Primus - Wynona's Big Brown Beaver

  6. 6

    Primus - DMV

  7. 7

    Primus - Mama Didn't Raise No Fool

  8. 8

    Primus - Shake Hands With Beef

  9. 9

    Primus - Tommy The Cat

  10. 10

    Primus - Follow The Fool

  11. 11

    Primus - Have A Cigar

  12. 12

    Primus - The Air Is Getting Slippery

  13. 13

    Primus - To Defy The Laws Of Tradition

  14. 14

    Primus - Welcome To This World

  15. 15

    Primus - Amos Moses

  16. 16

    Primus - Detachable Penis

  17. 17

    Primus - Eleven

  18. 18

    Primus - Erin On The Side Of Caution

  19. 19

    Primus - Frizzle Fry

  20. 20

    Primus - Hello Skinny/Constantinople

  21. 21

    Primus - Intruder

  22. 22

    Primus - Is It Luck?

  23. 23

    Primus - Jilly's On Smack

  24. 24

    Primus - Lee Van Cleef

  25. 25

    Primus - Making Plans For Nigel

  26. 26

    Primus - Mrs. Blaileen

  27. 27

    Primus - Over The Electric Grapevine

  28. 28

    Primus - Professor Nutbutter's House Of Treats

  29. 29

    Primus - Sinister Exaggerator

  30. 30

    Primus - The Antipop

  31. 31

    Primus - The Ends?

  32. 32

    Primus - The Toys Go Winding Down

  33. 33

    Primus - The Valley

  34. 34

    Primus - Too Many Puppies

  35. 35

    Primus - Tragedy's A' Comin'

  36. 36

    Primus - American Life

  37. 37

    Primus - Arnie

  38. 38

    Primus - Ballad Of Bodacious

  39. 39

    Primus - Bob

  40. 40

    Primus - Bob's Party Time Lounge

  41. 41

    Primus - Buscando Encontrar

  42. 42

    Primus - Camelback Cinema

  43. 43

    Primus - Coaatails Of A Dead Man

  44. 44

    Primus - Coddingtown

  45. 45

    Primus - Conspiranoia

  46. 46

    Primus - De Anza Jig

  47. 47

    Primus - Del Davis Tree Farm

  48. 48

    Primus - Dirty Drowning Man

  49. 49

    Primus - Dutchess And The Proverbial Mind Spread

  50. 50

    Primus - Electric Electric

  51. 51

    Primus - Eletric Uncle Sam

  52. 52

    Primus - Eternal Consumption Engine

  53. 53

    Primus - Extinction Burst

  54. 54

    Primus - Eyes Of The Squirrel

  55. 55

    Primus - Fish On

  56. 56

    Primus - Fisticuffs

  57. 57

    Primus - Glass Sandwich

  58. 58

    Primus - Golden Boy

  59. 59

    Primus - Grandad's Little Ditty

  60. 60

    Primus - Green Ranger

  61. 61

    Primus - Greet The Sacred Cow

  62. 62

    Primus - Groundhog's Day

  63. 63

    Primus - Hail Santa

  64. 64

    Primus - Hamburger Train

  65. 65

    Primus - Harold Of The Rocks

  66. 66

    Primus - Hats Off

  67. 67

    Primus - Hellbound 17 1/2

  68. 68

    Primus - Hennepin Crawler

  69. 69

    Primus - Here Come The Bastards

  70. 70

    Primus - Hoinfodaman

  71. 71

    Primus - Jellikit

  72. 72

    Primus - Kalamazoo

  73. 73

    Primus - Kallamazoo

  74. 74

    Primus - Lacquer Head

  75. 75

    Primus - Last Salmon Man

  76. 76

    Primus - Los Bastardos

  77. 77

    Primus - Mary The Ice Cube

  78. 78

    Primus - Mephisto & Kevin

  79. 79

    Primus - Moron TV

  80. 80

    Primus - Mr. Knowitall

  81. 81

    Primus - Mr. Krinkle

  82. 82

    Primus - My Friend Fats

  83. 83

    Primus - N.I.B.

  84. 84

    Primus - Natural Joe

  85. 85

    Primus - Nature Boy

  86. 86

    Primus - On The Tweek Again

  87. 87

    Primus - Over The Falls

  88. 88

    Primus - Pablo’s Hippos

  89. 89

    Primus - Pilcher's Squad

  90. 90

    Primus - Poetry & Prose

  91. 91

    Primus - Pork Chop's Little Ditty

  92. 92

    Primus - Pork Soda

  93. 93

    Primus - Power Mad

  94. 94

    Primus - Puddin' Taine

  95. 95

    Primus - Pudding Time

  96. 96

    Primus - Restin' Bones

  97. 97

    Primus - Sathington Waltz

  98. 98

    Primus - Sathington Willoughby

  99. 99

    Primus - Scissor Man

  100. 100

    Primus - Seas Of Cheese

  101. 101

    Primus - Sgt. Baker

  102. 102

    Primus - South Park

  103. 103

    Primus - Southbound Pachyderm

  104. 104

    Primus - Spaghetti Western

  105. 105

    Primus - The Ballad Of Buckethead

  106. 106

    Primus - The Carpenter And The Dainty Bride

  107. 107

    Primus - The Chastising Of Renegade

  108. 108

    Primus - The Devil Went Down To Georgia

  109. 109

    Primus - The Dream

  110. 110

    Primus - The Family And The Fishing Net

  111. 111

    Primus - The Final Voyage of the Liquid Sky

  112. 112

    Primus - The Heckler

  113. 113

    Primus - The Last Superpower Aka Rapscallion

  114. 114

    Primus - The Ol' Diamond Back Sturgeon

  115. 115

    Primus - The Pressman

  116. 116

    Primus - The Return Of Sathington Willoughby

  117. 117

    Primus - The Scheme

  118. 118

    Primus - The Seven

  119. 119

    Primus - The Storm

  120. 120

    Primus - The Thing That Should Not Be

  121. 121

    Primus - The Trek

  122. 122

    Primus - Those Damned Blue Collar Tweekers

  123. 123

    Primus - Walk

  124. 124

    Primus - Wounded Knee

  125. 125

    Primus - Year Of The Parrot

  126. 126

    Primus - You Can't Kill Michael Malloy

Mephisto & Kevin

Primus

In 1986, the university of californa at davis
Saw two of its all-time brightest stars,
Dr. alphonse mephisto and dr. arnie abesacraben.
Dr. mephisto worked hard towards his thesis - his goal
Was to genetically duplicate the dna structure of asparagus,
So that all asparagus would grow to the same girth and length,
Giving asparagus a much more pleasent presentation in the worlds
Supermarkter vegetable bins.

Dr. abesacrabens goal was to genetically create the greatest
Musical entertainer the world had ever seen.
Dr. abesacraben knew that if he could assemble the right elements,
He could theoretically build a dna structure that would ensure
His creation had talent far surpassing the average individual.

At the time, one subject of urban myth was the story that
Michael jackson - in an effort to maintain his youthful look and
Feminie vocal characteristics - had his testicles surgically removed,
Thereby making him a modern-day castrato.

If such a rumor were true, michael jackson more that likely would have
Had some of his semen preserved before the surgery, to ensure his the
Future of his name and lineage.

Word came back to dr. abesacraben of a secret cold storage locker
Deep within the bowels of the ucla research center, that not only
Contained four containers of frozen semen, but also held a pair of
Testicles, each was labeled with the name jack michaelson.

I once heard a noise,
In the night the most sensual voice.
Song of love from a eight year-old boy,
Stuck in my head.
And this is what he said:

I am gopher boy!
Pondering reality!
I am gopher boy!
Who will buy my raspberries?

This had to be the seed of the king of pop!
Dr. abesacraben was able to use his charm and and chissled greek
Feature to woo a young lab technician by the name of jennifer, who of
Course happened to have the proper access needed to obtain a small vial
Of the precious semen.

The search for the egg was a short one - dr. mephisto simply ran an ad
In the classified section of an airline music magazine. the ad read:
Wanted: unfertilized human eggs for genetic experiment. donors must
Have musical background. with a pleathera of young, eager wanna-be
Music starlets willing to sell their eggs, the two doctors - after
Rigorous
Auditioning - picked... and purchased.

Dr. abesacraben felt that it would be far less complicated legally if the
Fetus were brought to term in the womb of a non-human. he had long since
Secured the services of the university volleyball mascot, a llama by the
Name of missy.
When the baby was ready, the child via cesarean. it was a healthy baby
Boy; he was named kevin.

I once heard a noise,
In the night the most sensual voice.
Song of love from a eight year-old boy,
Stuck in my head.
And this is what he said:

I am gopher boy!
Pondering reality!
I am gopher boy!
Who will buy my raspberries?

Kevin was a beautiful child. dr. abesacraben saw to it that kevin was
Trained by the best in all aspects of performing. his voice was golden, and had a
Sweetness to it that most males lacked. he moved with grace, and was able to
Moonwalk by the time he was three. as kevin grew in his talent, dr. abesacraben
Started noticing odd developments in his physical state. when kevin lost his baby
Teeth, his secondaries came in with a vengance! they were at least twice
The size of a normal adults, and the two in front stuck nearly straight out. also
As kevin reached his eighth year, he was the same as the was when he was four. to
Top it off, he was growing hair all over and his penis was enormous, even by adult
Standards.
It also dawned on the doctor that even trough all the years of hearing kevin sing,
He rarely spoke, often choosing to communicate with various grunt and gurgles.

I once heard a noise,
In the night the most sensual voice.
Song of love from a eight year-old boy,
Stuck in my head.
And this is what he said:

I am gopher boy!
Pondering reality!
I am gopher boy!
Who will buy my raspberries?

Others were noticing the changes in kevin. children began to tease him - to call him gopher boy.
One day a bully by the name of big roy started throwing bananas at him.
Soon a crowd of kids were all throwing bananas.
Suddenly, in a fury, kevin rushed at big roy and bit three finger fingers off on his left hand.
Kevin was taken away and placed in the custody of the state.
Dr. abesacrabens actions were found out, but because there was no legislation
Concerning the genetic instruction of a human being, no criminal charges were brought forth.
The medical associations board of ethics stripped him of all his creditials, and his reputation was ruined.
In fact, his name became to synonmous with failure, that for years to come,
Medical students around the world were known to say in times of mishaps,
Damn, I feel just like abesacraben.

Dr. mephisto immediately began procedings to adopt little kevin.
Being a noted scientist and the creator of the cloned asparagus,
It wasnt long before the two were legally united as father and son.
They moved to colorado where they live in relative obscurity.
Kevin is still a boy of few spoken words, sticking mainly to his grunts and gurgles.
But on occasion, if you listen closely,
You can hear his sweet golden signing voice ring out into the night over the town of south park:

I am gopher boy,
Pondering reality.
I am gopher boy,
Who will buy my raspberries?

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