1. 1

    Primus - South Park Theme

  2. 2

    Primus - Wynona's Big Brown Beaver

  3. 3

    Primus - John The Fisherman

  4. 4

    Primus - My Name Is Mud

  5. 5

    Primus - Jerry Was A Race Car Driver

  6. 6

    Primus - DMV

  7. 7

    Primus - Tommy The Cat

  8. 8

    Primus - Mama Didn't Raise No Fool

  9. 9

    Primus - Shake Hands With Beef

  10. 10

    Primus - Follow The Fool

  11. 11

    Primus - Here Come The Bastards

  12. 12

    Primus - The Air Is Getting Slippery

  13. 13

    Primus - Amos Moses

  14. 14

    Primus - Detachable Penis

  15. 15

    Primus - Eleven

  16. 16

    Primus - Erin On The Side Of Caution

  17. 17

    Primus - Frizzle Fry

  18. 18

    Primus - Have A Cigar

  19. 19

    Primus - Hello Skinny/Constantinople

  20. 20

    Primus - Intruder

  21. 21

    Primus - Is It Luck?

  22. 22

    Primus - Jilly's On Smack

  23. 23

    Primus - Lee Van Cleef

  24. 24

    Primus - Making Plans For Nigel

  25. 25

    Primus - Mrs. Blaileen

  26. 26

    Primus - Over The Electric Grapevine

  27. 27

    Primus - Professor Nutbutter's House Of Treats

  28. 28

    Primus - Sathington Waltz

  29. 29

    Primus - Seas Of Cheese

  30. 30

    Primus - Sinister Exaggerator

  31. 31

    Primus - Southbound Pachyderm

  32. 32

    Primus - The Antipop

  33. 33

    Primus - The Devil Went Down To Georgia

  34. 34

    Primus - The Ends?

  35. 35

    Primus - The Valley

  36. 36

    Primus - To Defy The Laws Of Tradition

  37. 37

    Primus - Too Many Puppies

  38. 38

    Primus - Tragedy's A' Comin'

  39. 39

    Primus - Welcome To This World

  40. 40

    Primus - American Life

  41. 41

    Primus - Arnie

  42. 42

    Primus - Ballad Of Bodacious

  43. 43

    Primus - Bob

  44. 44

    Primus - Bob's Party Time Lounge

  45. 45

    Primus - Buscando Encontrar

  46. 46

    Primus - Camelback Cinema

  47. 47

    Primus - Coaatails Of A Dead Man

  48. 48

    Primus - Coddingtown

  49. 49

    Primus - Conspiranoia

  50. 50

    Primus - De Anza Jig

  51. 51

    Primus - Del Davis Tree Farm

  52. 52

    Primus - Dirty Drowning Man

  53. 53

    Primus - Dutchess And The Proverbial Mind Spread

  54. 54

    Primus - Electric Electric

  55. 55

    Primus - Eletric Uncle Sam

  56. 56

    Primus - Eternal Consumption Engine

  57. 57

    Primus - Extinction Burst

  58. 58

    Primus - Eyes Of The Squirrel

  59. 59

    Primus - Fish On

  60. 60

    Primus - Fisticuffs

  61. 61

    Primus - Glass Sandwich

  62. 62

    Primus - Golden Boy

  63. 63

    Primus - Grandad's Little Ditty

  64. 64

    Primus - Green Ranger

  65. 65

    Primus - Greet The Sacred Cow

  66. 66

    Primus - Groundhog's Day

  67. 67

    Primus - Hail Santa

  68. 68

    Primus - Hamburger Train

  69. 69

    Primus - Harold Of The Rocks

  70. 70

    Primus - Hats Off

  71. 71

    Primus - Hellbound 17 1/2

  72. 72

    Primus - Hennepin Crawler

  73. 73

    Primus - Hoinfodaman

  74. 74

    Primus - Jellikit

  75. 75

    Primus - Kalamazoo

  76. 76

    Primus - Kallamazoo

  77. 77

    Primus - Lacquer Head

  78. 78

    Primus - Last Salmon Man

  79. 79

    Primus - Los Bastardos

  80. 80

    Primus - Mary The Ice Cube

  81. 81

    Primus - Mephisto & Kevin

  82. 82

    Primus - Moron TV

  83. 83

    Primus - Mr. Knowitall

  84. 84

    Primus - Mr. Krinkle

  85. 85

    Primus - My Friend Fats

  86. 86

    Primus - N.I.B.

  87. 87

    Primus - Natural Joe

  88. 88

    Primus - Nature Boy

  89. 89

    Primus - On The Tweek Again

  90. 90

    Primus - Over The Falls

  91. 91

    Primus - Pablo’s Hippos

  92. 92

    Primus - Pilcher's Squad

  93. 93

    Primus - Poetry & Prose

  94. 94

    Primus - Pork Chop's Little Ditty

  95. 95

    Primus - Pork Soda

  96. 96

    Primus - Power Mad

  97. 97

    Primus - Puddin' Taine

  98. 98

    Primus - Pudding Time

  99. 99

    Primus - Restin' Bones

  100. 100

    Primus - Sathington Willoughby

  101. 101

    Primus - Scissor Man

  102. 102

    Primus - Sgt. Baker

  103. 103

    Primus - South Park

  104. 104

    Primus - Spaghetti Western

  105. 105

    Primus - The Ballad Of Buckethead

  106. 106

    Primus - The Carpenter And The Dainty Bride

  107. 107

    Primus - The Chastising Of Renegade

  108. 108

    Primus - The Dream

  109. 109

    Primus - The Family And The Fishing Net

  110. 110

    Primus - The Final Voyage of the Liquid Sky

  111. 111

    Primus - The Heckler

  112. 112

    Primus - The Last Superpower Aka Rapscallion

  113. 113

    Primus - The Ol' Diamond Back Sturgeon

  114. 114

    Primus - The Pressman

  115. 115

    Primus - The Return Of Sathington Willoughby

  116. 116

    Primus - The Scheme

  117. 117

    Primus - The Seven

  118. 118

    Primus - The Storm

  119. 119

    Primus - The Thing That Should Not Be

  120. 120

    Primus - The Toys Go Winding Down

  121. 121

    Primus - The Trek

  122. 122

    Primus - Those Damned Blue Collar Tweekers

  123. 123

    Primus - Walk

  124. 124

    Primus - Wounded Knee

  125. 125

    Primus - Year Of The Parrot

  126. 126

    Primus - You Can't Kill Michael Malloy

Mephisto & Kevin

Primus

In 1986, the university of californa at davis
Saw two of its all-time brightest stars,
Dr. alphonse mephisto and dr. arnie abesacraben.
Dr. mephisto worked hard towards his thesis - his goal
Was to genetically duplicate the dna structure of asparagus,
So that all asparagus would grow to the same girth and length,
Giving asparagus a much more pleasent presentation in the worlds
Supermarkter vegetable bins.

Dr. abesacrabens goal was to genetically create the greatest
Musical entertainer the world had ever seen.
Dr. abesacraben knew that if he could assemble the right elements,
He could theoretically build a dna structure that would ensure
His creation had talent far surpassing the average individual.

At the time, one subject of urban myth was the story that
Michael jackson - in an effort to maintain his youthful look and
Feminie vocal characteristics - had his testicles surgically removed,
Thereby making him a modern-day castrato.

If such a rumor were true, michael jackson more that likely would have
Had some of his semen preserved before the surgery, to ensure his the
Future of his name and lineage.

Word came back to dr. abesacraben of a secret cold storage locker
Deep within the bowels of the ucla research center, that not only
Contained four containers of frozen semen, but also held a pair of
Testicles, each was labeled with the name jack michaelson.

I once heard a noise,
In the night the most sensual voice.
Song of love from a eight year-old boy,
Stuck in my head.
And this is what he said:

I am gopher boy!
Pondering reality!
I am gopher boy!
Who will buy my raspberries?

This had to be the seed of the king of pop!
Dr. abesacraben was able to use his charm and and chissled greek
Feature to woo a young lab technician by the name of jennifer, who of
Course happened to have the proper access needed to obtain a small vial
Of the precious semen.

The search for the egg was a short one - dr. mephisto simply ran an ad
In the classified section of an airline music magazine. the ad read:
Wanted: unfertilized human eggs for genetic experiment. donors must
Have musical background. with a pleathera of young, eager wanna-be
Music starlets willing to sell their eggs, the two doctors - after
Rigorous
Auditioning - picked... and purchased.

Dr. abesacraben felt that it would be far less complicated legally if the
Fetus were brought to term in the womb of a non-human. he had long since
Secured the services of the university volleyball mascot, a llama by the
Name of missy.
When the baby was ready, the child via cesarean. it was a healthy baby
Boy; he was named kevin.

I once heard a noise,
In the night the most sensual voice.
Song of love from a eight year-old boy,
Stuck in my head.
And this is what he said:

I am gopher boy!
Pondering reality!
I am gopher boy!
Who will buy my raspberries?

Kevin was a beautiful child. dr. abesacraben saw to it that kevin was
Trained by the best in all aspects of performing. his voice was golden, and had a
Sweetness to it that most males lacked. he moved with grace, and was able to
Moonwalk by the time he was three. as kevin grew in his talent, dr. abesacraben
Started noticing odd developments in his physical state. when kevin lost his baby
Teeth, his secondaries came in with a vengance! they were at least twice
The size of a normal adults, and the two in front stuck nearly straight out. also
As kevin reached his eighth year, he was the same as the was when he was four. to
Top it off, he was growing hair all over and his penis was enormous, even by adult
Standards.
It also dawned on the doctor that even trough all the years of hearing kevin sing,
He rarely spoke, often choosing to communicate with various grunt and gurgles.

I once heard a noise,
In the night the most sensual voice.
Song of love from a eight year-old boy,
Stuck in my head.
And this is what he said:

I am gopher boy!
Pondering reality!
I am gopher boy!
Who will buy my raspberries?

Others were noticing the changes in kevin. children began to tease him - to call him gopher boy.
One day a bully by the name of big roy started throwing bananas at him.
Soon a crowd of kids were all throwing bananas.
Suddenly, in a fury, kevin rushed at big roy and bit three finger fingers off on his left hand.
Kevin was taken away and placed in the custody of the state.
Dr. abesacrabens actions were found out, but because there was no legislation
Concerning the genetic instruction of a human being, no criminal charges were brought forth.
The medical associations board of ethics stripped him of all his creditials, and his reputation was ruined.
In fact, his name became to synonmous with failure, that for years to come,
Medical students around the world were known to say in times of mishaps,
Damn, I feel just like abesacraben.

Dr. mephisto immediately began procedings to adopt little kevin.
Being a noted scientist and the creator of the cloned asparagus,
It wasnt long before the two were legally united as father and son.
They moved to colorado where they live in relative obscurity.
Kevin is still a boy of few spoken words, sticking mainly to his grunts and gurgles.
But on occasion, if you listen closely,
You can hear his sweet golden signing voice ring out into the night over the town of south park:

I am gopher boy,
Pondering reality.
I am gopher boy,
Who will buy my raspberries?

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