Sophistophone {?}, aristocats
 
 Distinguished stars, clean up your acts
 
 Pull up your pants, ladies and gents
 
 Please, act like you got some sense
 
 You know what I really wanna know?
 
 Where do all the good girls go
 
 What clubs they hang in?
 
  
  [Chorus]
 
 Behold a lady
 
 I see you standin' on the wall
 
 Clap, clap... you deserve it all [Repeat]
 
 [Ad libs]
 
 Candy-coated unicorns are quite hard to find
 
 The classic lady, a rare breed indeed
 
 Is that make and model discontinued?
  
 
 [Verse 1]
 
 Today I might snow, tomorrow I'll rain
 
 3000's always changing but you stay the same
 
 And I need that, hey I need that (in my life)
 
 When I feel washed up and inadequate
 
 And throw all my songs away, no matter how mad I get
 
 You make me smile, you make me smile
 
 You make me smile, you make me... (Hoooooooo!)
 
 You're the anchor that holds me down
 
 When my ship is sinking
 
 You won't let me drown and I'm grateful
 
 (Awwaww Awwawwawwawwawwwwawww!)
  
 
 [Chorus]
  
 
 [Verse 2]
 
 Yo' mama's old fashioned, yo' daddy don't play
 
 You'll always be this lovely
 
 'Cause they raised you that way
 
 Hallelujah! Thank ya Jesus! Thank ya Lord!
 
 Thank ya Jesus! Thank ya Lord!
 
 Thank ya Jesus! Thank ya Lord!
 
 You're not extra, you're so plain Jane
 
 The yin to my yang, darlin'
 
 You've got that thang and you know it
 
 But yet you don't and that's what's so cool
 
 You don't say too much, but when you do it's profound
 
 In the street you hold your head high
 
 At home you get low down for me
 
 (Can't get no lower, can't get no lower, can't get no lower,
 
 yeah!)
 
 Hooo! You're the anchor that holds me down
 
 When my ship is sinking, you won't let me drown (Aaaaaaahh!)
 
 (Ad libs)
 
 Sad, but one day our kids will have to visit museums
 
 To see what a lady looks like
 
 So if you find one, I beg you, hold her tight
 
 If you spot one, good sir, treat her right
 
 This is Benjamin Andre signing off
 
 Thanks a million
 
 Good luck and goodnight
  
 
 [Chorus 2x]