- 1
King Missile - Sensitive Artist
- 2
King Missile - Detachable Penis
- 3
King Missile - It's Saturday
- 4
King Missile - JLH
- 5
King Missile - Pain Series 2: Hammer Thumb
- 6
King Missile - These People
- 7
King Missile - ANTIMATTER
- 8
King Missile - CHICKENS
- 9
King Missile - Come Closer
- 10
King Missile - DICK
- 11
King Missile - FAILURE
- 12
King Missile - Fidh
- 13
King Missile - Frightened and Freezing (sung/spoken)
- 14
King Missile - He Needed
- 15
King Missile - Heaven
- 16
King Missile - I'm Sorry
- 17
King Missile - Margaret's Eyes
- 18
King Missile - Martin Scorsese
- 19
King Missile - Meditation Is Boring
- 20
King Missile - Mr Johnson
- 21
King Missile - MUFFY
- 22
King Missile - No Point (sung)
- 23
King Missile - Now
- 24
King Missile - Pain Series 3: Paper Cut
- 25
King Missile - Pigs Will Fly
- 26
King Missile - Psalm
- 27
King Missile - Scotland
- 28
King Missile - She Had Nothing
- 29
King Missile - Stonehenge
- 30
King Missile - Take Me Home
- 31
King Missile - That Old Dog
- 32
King Missile - The Hemophiliac Of Love
- 33
King Missile - The Love Song
- 34
King Missile - The Sandbox
- 35
King Missile - Title Track
- 36
King Missile - Tongue
- 37
King Missile - Vvv (vulvavoid)
- 38
King Missile - When She Closed Her Eyes
- 39
King Missile - Wind Up Toys
- 40
King Missile - (Why Are We) Trapped?
- 41
King Missile - And
- 42
King Missile - Anywhere
- 43
King Missile - BLOODLETTING
- 44
King Missile - Cheesecake Truck (spoken)
- 45
King Missile - Damned If I Know
- 46
King Missile - DELORES
- 47
King Missile - DFB2BS
- 48
King Missile - DINOSAURS
- 49
King Missile - Double Fucked by 2 Black Studs lyrics
- 50
King Missile - Ed
- 51
King Missile - Equivalencies
- 52
King Missile - Farm
- 53
King Missile - Fluting On The Hump
- 54
King Missile - Fourthly
- 55
King Missile - Gary and Melissa (spoken)
- 56
King Missile - Get Into It (roll Around In It)
- 57
King Missile - Give Me a Dollar
- 58
King Missile - Glass
- 59
King Missile - Happy Hour
- 60
King Missile - Happy Note
- 61
King Missile - Heavy Holy Man
- 62
King Missile - Hemopheliac of Love
- 63
King Missile - Hey Jesus
- 64
King Missile - How to Remember Your Dreams
- 65
King Missile - It's
- 66
King Missile - Jesus Was Way Cool
- 67
King Missile - Let's Have Sex
- 68
King Missile - Lies
- 69
King Missile - LIFE
- 70
King Missile - Listen To Me
- 71
King Missile - LOU
- 72
King Missile - Love Is
- 73
King Missile - Love You More
- 74
King Missile - MONKS
- 75
King Missile - My Heart is a Flower
- 76
King Missile - Open
- 77
King Missile - Pain Series 4: Cold Pool
- 78
King Missile - Pain Series 5: Stomach Cramps
- 79
King Missile - Pain Series 7: Stubbed Toe
- 80
King Missile - Part Two
- 81
King Missile - PHAEDREAUX
- 82
King Missile - PICKAXE
- 83
King Missile - Rock n' Roll Will Never Die
- 84
King Missile - Royal Lunch
- 85
King Missile - Sex With You
- 86
King Missile - She Didn't Want
- 87
King Missile - Sink
- 88
King Missile - So Happy
- 89
King Missile - Socks
- 90
King Missile - Still The One
- 91
King Missile - Take Stuff From Work
- 92
King Missile - The Blood Song
- 93
King Missile - The Box
- 94
King Missile - The Boy Who Ate Lasagne And Could Jump Over a Church
- 95
King Missile - The Bunny Song
- 96
King Missile - The Commercial
- 97
King Missile - The Evil Children
- 98
King Missile - The Fish That Played The Ponies
- 99
King Missile - The Indians
- 100
King Missile - The Leather Clown
- 101
King Missile - The Neither World
- 102
King Missile - The Story of Willy
- 103
King Missile - The Way to Salvation
- 104
King Missile - To Walk Among The Pigs
- 105
King Missile - What If
- 106
King Missile - World War Iii Is a Giant Ice Cream Cone
The Commercial
King Missile
I've tasted blood,
I've killed with words,
I've wished and hoped and
Swam through a river of snot
Twice as wide as the mighty Mississippi,
But I wanna know about the commercial
I saw on TV:
An Irish guy,
Walking through a field of green,
Whistling one of those Irish jigs,
And a woman walks up and says,
"Manly yes, but I like it too."
Then the guy pulls out a huge knife
And cuts off his first two fingers,
And somehow catches them,
In what's left of his left hand,
And hands them to the woman
Did I mention they're both dressed in green?
They they both sing this song together:
"Are ya icky? Are ya sticky?
"Are ya hot as anything?
"Hey cut off two of your fingers,
"And stab yourself in the eye!"
Then he stabs himself in the eye,
And hands her the knife,
And she stabs herself in the eye-okay? okay?
so what about that?
Then they join arms
And do this Irish folk dance
While taking turns dismembering each other
This was a commercial for deodorant, I think,
Or soap or something
So now all the body parts
Are lying in a heap,
But the heads are still singing
"Are ya icky? Are ya sticky?
"Are ya hot as anything?
"Hey! get away from summer,
"And cut off all your limbs!"
Then all of the body parts
Start hopping and bopping around,
Like little bunny rats,
Then they jump into the mouths of the singing heads,
But then they just slip right back out
Through the severed necks and keep bopping about
It's very beautiful music that's playing;
There's an Irish flute,
And a mandolin, I think,
And the background singers sound
Just like the Clancy brothers
It's really a wonderful commercial,
Spectacular,
It must of cost a fortune to make
The kind of commercial you'd see
During the Super Bowl, maybe,
Where the advertising time costs
A million dollars
A half a minute
Wow, imagine that:
A million dollars
For a half a minute!
Anyway,
By the end of it,
It looks like the two of them
have been through a juicer,
Or a food processor
Or a blender or something-
It's just a pink puree of
Blood, bone and flesh in a big bucket,
But it's still singing somehow
"Are ya icky? Are ya sticky?
"Are ya hot as anything?
"Hey! Blend yourself, process yourself
"Become a glass of animal juice!
"Haven't you had enough
"Of fruit juices and vegetable juices?
"Next time company comes over,
"Offer them a cool refreshing glass of yourself!
"Give of yourself,
"Stop being such a selfish piece of snot,
"Okay? Okay? Okay!"
"And now, back to our program."
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