Tina: Well, the Winter Olympics start next week and no one's more excited about this than our own Jimmy Fallon.
Jimmy: Alright thanks Tina. The 2002 Winter Olympics start next week and the theme song to the olypics is "America" by Neil Diamond. Now no offense to Neil Diamond but that songs good, it's also over 20 years old. So I thought maybe I cold change the words to some more recent songs and see if they maybe want to use those ones in stead. Uh, you should highlight events, like downhill skiing.
(to Five For Fighting's "Superman")
I can go downhill
On the icy snow
Dressed up in my unitard
Where else can I go
I'm only a man
On two skinny red skis
Instead of cologne
I'm wearing antifreeze
I can't even tell
If I'm winning the race
Because snot is frozen on my face
It's not easy
To downhill ski
And the uh, Winter Olympics, they just happen to be in February, which is also black history month. I think that's perfect, considering how much black people love winter sports.
(To Ludacris' "Roll Out")
What in the world was on your mind
What you got on your mind
A couple of dudes with nose bleeds
And it's hard to breate
At that height people
It's just white people
Because
Ain't no homies
Play hockey
If it's below 30
You can bite me
I turn up my sony
Til you stop that
I'm gonna see a movie
With a hot pack
Thaw out!
One good reason to tune in this year is the new event called "Skeleton," where an Olympian lays on this tiny metal sled on their stomach, and goes head-first down the mountain. It's insane.
(To Nickelback's "How You Remind Me")
Never made it as a luge man
Couldn't hack it on the bobsled
Now you don't have to remind me
Of how I will get hurt
You don't have to remind me
Haven't done it since the 40's
Go down a mountain like 50 stories
All the drugs that I'll be takin'
For all the bones that I'll be breakin'
I will cry
I could die
The'll have to find my body at the bottom
These few words in my head
Tell me "don't die don't die don't die on the sled"
Yeah, yeah
Oh please don't die on that little sled!
