Wonder, oh, why this ever had to be? (Uh-huh)
So many losing hope in those dreams that they—
Walkin' past the homeless in a Rolex
Just got off the stage on the TODAY Show and I basically felt soulless
Years go by and I keep saying I'm gon' use my phone less
But I should just be phone-less
Ignorance is bliss and so is bein' underground
'Cause it was fun when we were known less
Sorry, that's cliche, I know I'm so blessed
But Jason keeps on tellin' me: Say yes
And truth be told, I know he knows best
But I don't wanna do no press
I've seen enough of me on this lil' screen
I've become so vain and insecure 'bout everything
I feel all this pressure to live up to what they tell me I'm gon' be
So I isolate myself, you can't help me, it's on me
I'm hidin' any sign of weakness from my guys
I don't want 'em second-guessin' with me
Nemo said to keep my foot on necks 'cause I can't let 'em just forget me
But the brags in my raps are getting less and less convincing
So I'd rather just (Wonder)
Oh, why this ever had to be?
So many losing hope in those dreams that they—
I wrote that first verse in Denver back in September
It's January now and I'm feelin' like myself again
I got Angel back in here, I need his help again
I'm takin' time away but wonderin' what a healthy helping is
Fuck it, they gon' check for me, I tell myself and tell my friends
Avoidin' any talks about the elephant
Chalkin' up the hate to jealousy and just embellishments
But deep down, I find myself wonderin'
If the people that write about are right about me
And I wonder if my exes are oversharin' 'cause they know a lot about me
I'm a long way from Shelby County
I been through some local tension, heard talks of a healthy bounty
Sober and focused, I cannot walk down no deli alleys
I still got the fellas 'round me, I love 'em and tell 'em proudly
My mama needs help adjusting, my father need help accounting
I'm lookin' out heaven's window, I know that there's hell around me and—
Wonder, oh, why this ever had to be?
So many losing hope in those dreams that they