- 1
Frank Zappa - Watermelon In Easter Hay
- 2
Frank Zappa - Uncle Remus
- 3
Frank Zappa - Bobby Brown
- 4
Frank Zappa - Cosmik Debris
- 5
Frank Zappa - Bobby Brown Goes Down
- 6
Frank Zappa - Peaches En Regalia
- 7
Frank Zappa - The Torture Never Stops
- 8
Frank Zappa - Apostrophe(')
- 9
Frank Zappa - Muffin Man
- 10
Frank Zappa - Camarillo Brillo
- 11
Frank Zappa - Valley Girl
- 12
Frank Zappa - City Of Tiny Lites
- 13
Frank Zappa - Don't Eat The Yellow Snow
- 14
Frank Zappa - Willie The Pimp
- 15
Frank Zappa - Dinah Moe Humm
- 16
Frank Zappa - Flakes
- 17
Frank Zappa - My Guitar Wants To Kill Your Mama
- 18
Frank Zappa - Nanook Rubs It
- 19
Frank Zappa - You Are What You Is
- 20
Frank Zappa - Broken Hearts Are For Assholes
- 21
Frank Zappa - I'm So Cute
- 22
Frank Zappa - I Have Been In You
- 23
Frank Zappa - I'm The Slime
- 24
Frank Zappa - San Ber'dino
- 25
Frank Zappa - Sy Borg
- 26
Frank Zappa - Titties & Beer
- 27
Frank Zappa - Why Does It Hurt When I Pee?
- 28
Frank Zappa - Catholic Girls
- 29
Frank Zappa - Fembot In A Wet T-shirt
- 30
Frank Zappa - Fine Girl
- 31
Frank Zappa - He's So Gay
- 32
Frank Zappa - Inca Roads
- 33
Frank Zappa - Mom & Dad
- 34
Frank Zappa - Montana
- 35
Frank Zappa - Sharleena
- 36
Frank Zappa - A Little Green Rosetta
- 37
Frank Zappa - America Drinks & Goes Home
- 38
Frank Zappa - Are You Hung Up?
- 39
Frank Zappa - Baby Snakes
- 40
Frank Zappa - Bamboozled By Love
- 41
Frank Zappa - Black Napkins
- 42
Frank Zappa - Concentration Moon
- 43
Frank Zappa - Fifty-Fifty
- 44
Frank Zappa - I Don't Even Care
- 45
Frank Zappa - Joe's Garage
- 46
Frank Zappa - Nasal Retentive Calliope Music
- 47
Frank Zappa - Pound For A Brown
- 48
Frank Zappa - Punky's Whips
- 49
Frank Zappa - Son Of Orange County
- 50
Frank Zappa - Stick It Out
- 51
Frank Zappa - Stink-Foot
- 52
Frank Zappa - The Adventures Of Greggery Peccary
- 53
Frank Zappa - The Illinois Enema Bandit
- 54
Frank Zappa - Valarie
- 55
Frank Zappa - What's The Ugliest part Of Your Body?
- 56
Frank Zappa - Zomby Woof
- 57
Frank Zappa - Zoot Allures
- 58
Frank Zappa - A Token Of My Extreme
- 59
Frank Zappa - Any Way The Wind Blows
- 60
Frank Zappa - Big Leg Emma
- 61
Frank Zappa - Can't Afford No Shoes
- 62
Frank Zappa - Cheap Thrills
- 63
Frank Zappa - Chocolate Halvah
- 64
Frank Zappa - Chunga's Revenge
- 65
Frank Zappa - Conehead
- 66
Frank Zappa - Cucamonga
- 67
Frank Zappa - Disco Boy
- 68
Frank Zappa - Echidna's Arf (Of You)
- 69
Frank Zappa - Eddie, Are You Kidding?
- 70
Frank Zappa - Find Her Finer
- 71
Frank Zappa - Florentine Pogen
- 72
Frank Zappa - For The Young Sophisticate
- 73
Frank Zappa - Goblin Girl
- 74
Frank Zappa - He Used To Cut The Grass
- 75
Frank Zappa - I'm A Beautiful Guy
- 76
Frank Zappa - I'm So Happy I Could Cry
- 77
Frank Zappa - Janet's Big Dance Number
- 78
Frank Zappa - Jesus Thinks You're A Jerk
- 79
Frank Zappa - Jewish Princess
- 80
Frank Zappa - Let's Make The Water Turn Black
- 81
Frank Zappa - Little Rubber Girl
- 82
Frank Zappa - Lonesome Cowboy Nando
- 83
Frank Zappa - Love Of My Life
- 84
Frank Zappa - My Guitar Wants To Kill Your Mama (in album You Can't do That On Stage Anymore vol 4)
- 85
Frank Zappa - Mystery Roach
- 86
Frank Zappa - Outside Now
- 87
Frank Zappa - Packard Goose
- 88
Frank Zappa - Penguin In Bondage
- 89
Frank Zappa - Planet Of My Dreams
- 90
Frank Zappa - Plastic People
- 91
Frank Zappa - Po-Jama People
- 92
Frank Zappa - Ruthie-Ruthie
- 93
Frank Zappa - Sex
- 94
Frank Zappa - Sleep Dirt
- 95
Frank Zappa - Soft-sell Conclusion
- 96
Frank Zappa - St. Alfonzo's Pancake Breakfast
- 97
Frank Zappa - Stick Together
- 98
Frank Zappa - The Beatles Medley
- 99
Frank Zappa - The Closer You Are
- 100
Frank Zappa - The Downtown Talent Scout
- 101
Frank Zappa - The Finale
- 102
Frank Zappa - The Groupie Routine
- 103
Frank Zappa - The Idiot Bastard Son
- 104
Frank Zappa - The Man From Utopia Meets Mary Lou
- 105
Frank Zappa - The Meek Shall Inherit Nothing
- 106
Frank Zappa - The Mud Shark
- 107
Frank Zappa - The Sheik Yerbouti Tango
- 108
Frank Zappa - This Ain't CNN
- 109
Frank Zappa - Tryin' To Grow A Chin
- 110
Frank Zappa - Village Of The Sun
- 111
Frank Zappa - We Are Not Alone
- 112
Frank Zappa - Welcome To The United States
- 113
Frank Zappa - When The Lie's So Big
- 114
Frank Zappa - Who Are The Brain Police?
- 115
Frank Zappa - Wild Love
- 116
Frank Zappa - Wonderful Tattoo!
- 117
Frank Zappa - Would You Like A Snack?
- 118
Frank Zappa - Wowie Zowie
- 119
Frank Zappa - Yo' Mama
- 120
Frank Zappa - You Are What You Is (in album Thing-fish)
- 121
Frank Zappa - 200 Motels Fineale
- 122
Frank Zappa - 200 Years Old
- 123
Frank Zappa - 5050
- 124
Frank Zappa - 9/8 Objects
- 125
Frank Zappa - A Few Moments With Brother A. West
- 126
Frank Zappa - A Game Of Cards
- 127
Frank Zappa - A Nun Suit Painted On Some Old Boxes
- 128
Frank Zappa - A Typical Sound Check
- 129
Frank Zappa - Absolutely Free
- 130
Frank Zappa - Advance Romance
- 131
Frank Zappa - Advance Romance (in album You Can't Do That On Stage Anymore vol 3 )
- 132
Frank Zappa - Agency Man
- 133
Frank Zappa - Ain't Got No Heart
- 134
Frank Zappa - Alley Cat
- 135
Frank Zappa - America Drinks
- 136
Frank Zappa - Amnesia Vivace
- 137
Frank Zappa - Andy
- 138
Frank Zappa - Any Downers?
- 139
Frank Zappa - Any Kind Of Pain
- 140
Frank Zappa - Anything
- 141
Frank Zappa - Approximate
- 142
Frank Zappa - Are You Upset?
- 143
Frank Zappa - Artificial Rhonda
- 144
Frank Zappa - At The Gas Station
- 145
Frank Zappa - Babbette
- 146
Frank Zappa - Baby Please Don't Go (feat. John Lennon)
- 147
Frank Zappa - Baby, Take Your Teeth Out
- 148
Frank Zappa - Bacon Fat
- 149
Frank Zappa - Baked-Bean Boogie
- 150
Frank Zappa - Be In My Video
- 151
Frank Zappa - Be-Bop Tango (Of The Old Jazzmen's Church)
- 152
Frank Zappa - Beauty Knows No Pain
- 153
Frank Zappa - Big Swifty
- 154
Frank Zappa - Billy The Mountain
- 155
Frank Zappa - Bow Tie Daddy
- 156
Frank Zappa - Briefcase Boogie
- 157
Frank Zappa - Brown Moses
- 158
Frank Zappa - Brown Shoes Don't Make It
- 159
Frank Zappa - Brown Shoes Don't Make It (in album Tinseltown Rebellion)
- 160
Frank Zappa - Bwana Dik
- 161
Frank Zappa - Call Any Vegetable
- 162
Frank Zappa - Call Any Vegetable (in album Just Another Band From L.A.)
- 163
Frank Zappa - Carol, You Fool
- 164
Frank Zappa - Carolina Hard-Core Ecstasy
- 165
Frank Zappa - Carolina Hard-Core Ecstasy (in album You Can't do That On Stage Anymore vol 4)
- 166
Frank Zappa - Centerville
- 167
Frank Zappa - Chana In De Bushwop
- 168
Frank Zappa - Charles Ives
- 169
Frank Zappa - Charlie's Enormous Mouth
- 170
Frank Zappa - Charva
- 171
Frank Zappa - Cheepnis
- 172
Frank Zappa - Church Chat
- 173
Frank Zappa - City Of Tiny Lites (in album You Can't do That On Stage Anymore vol 5)
- 174
Frank Zappa - Cletus Awreetus-Awrightus
- 175
Frank Zappa - Clowns On Velvet
- 176
Frank Zappa - Cocaine Decisions
- 177
Frank Zappa - Cocaine Decisions (in album You Can't do That On Stage Anymore vol 3)
- 178
Frank Zappa - Cock-Suckers' Ball
- 179
Frank Zappa - Cops & Buns
- 180
Frank Zappa - Crew Slut
- 181
Frank Zappa - Cruising For Burgers
- 182
Frank Zappa - Daddy, Daddy, Daddy
- 183
Frank Zappa - Dance Contest
- 184
Frank Zappa - Dancin' Fool
- 185
Frank Zappa - Debra Kadabra
- 186
Frank Zappa - Dental Hygeine Dilemma
- 187
Frank Zappa - Dental Hygiene Dilemma
- 188
Frank Zappa - Deseri
- 189
Frank Zappa - Dew On The Newts We Got
- 190
Frank Zappa - Dickie's Such An Asshole
- 191
Frank Zappa - Didja Get Any Onya?
- 192
Frank Zappa - Directly From My Heart To You
- 193
Frank Zappa - Dirty Love
- 194
Frank Zappa - Diseases Of The Band
- 195
Frank Zappa - Do You Like My New Car?
- 196
Frank Zappa - Does This Kind of Life Does This Kind of Life?
- 197
Frank Zappa - Does This Kind Of Life Look Interesting To You?
- 198
Frank Zappa - Dog Breath
- 199
Frank Zappa - Dog Breath, In The Year Of The Plague
- 200
Frank Zappa - Don't You Ever Wash That Thing?
- 201
Frank Zappa - Dong Work For Yuda
- 202
Frank Zappa - Doreen
- 203
Frank Zappa - Doreen (in album You Can't do That On Stage Anymore vol 5)
- 204
Frank Zappa - Drafted Again
- 205
Frank Zappa - Drop Dead
- 206
Frank Zappa - Drowning Witch
- 207
Frank Zappa - Drowning Witch (in album You Can't do That On Stage Anymore vol 3)
- 208
Frank Zappa - Drums Are Too Noisy
- 209
Frank Zappa - Duke Of Prunes
- 210
Frank Zappa - Dumb All Over
- 211
Frank Zappa - Dummy Up
- 212
Frank Zappa - Easy Meat
- 213
Frank Zappa - Electric Aunt Jemima
- 214
Frank Zappa - Elvis Has Just Left The Building
- 215
Frank Zappa - Envelops The Bath Tub
- 216
Frank Zappa - Epilogue
- 217
Frank Zappa - Evelyn, A Modified Dog
- 218
Frank Zappa - Excentrifugal Forz
- 219
Frank Zappa - Father O'Blivion
- 220
Frank Zappa - Flambay
- 221
Frank Zappa - Flower Punk
- 222
Frank Zappa - For Calvin (And His Next Two Hitch-Hikers)
- 223
Frank Zappa - Fountain Of Love
- 224
Frank Zappa - Frank Zappa
- 225
Frank Zappa - Frogs With Dirty Little Lips
- 226
Frank Zappa - Fuck Yourself
- 227
Frank Zappa - Galoot Up-Date
- 228
Frank Zappa - Geneva Farewell
- 229
Frank Zappa - German Lunch
- 230
Frank Zappa - Get A Little
- 231
Frank Zappa - Go Cry On Somebody Else's Shoulder
- 232
Frank Zappa - God Bless America
- 233
Frank Zappa - Half A Dozen Provocative Squats
- 234
Frank Zappa - Happy Together
- 235
Frank Zappa - Harder Than Your Husband
- 236
Frank Zappa - Harry & Rhonda
- 237
Frank Zappa - Harry-As-A-Boy
- 238
Frank Zappa - Harry, You're A Beast
- 239
Frank Zappa - Heavenly Bank Account
- 240
Frank Zappa - Help, I'm a Rock
- 241
Frank Zappa - Here Lies Love
- 242
Frank Zappa - Holding The Group Back
- 243
Frank Zappa - Holiday In Berlin
- 244
Frank Zappa - Honey, Don't You Want A Man Like Me?
- 245
Frank Zappa - Hordern Intro (Incan Art Vamp)
- 246
Frank Zappa - Hot Plate Heaven At The Green Hotel
- 247
Frank Zappa - Hot Poop
- 248
Frank Zappa - How Could I Be Such A Fool
- 249
Frank Zappa - How Could I Be Such A Fool?
- 250
Frank Zappa - Hungry Freaks, Daddy
- 251
Frank Zappa - I Ain't Got No Heart
- 252
Frank Zappa - I Ain't Got No Heart (in album Tinseltown Rebellion)
- 253
Frank Zappa - I Come From Nowhere
- 254
Frank Zappa - I Don't Wanna Get Drafted
- 255
Frank Zappa - I Promise Not To Come In Your Mouth
- 256
Frank Zappa - I'm A Band Leader
- 257
Frank Zappa - I'm Not Satisfied
- 258
Frank Zappa - I'm Stealing The Towels
- 259
Frank Zappa - Ian Underwood Whips It Out
- 260
Frank Zappa - If Only She Woulda
- 261
Frank Zappa - If We'd All Been Living In California...
- 262
Frank Zappa - In France
- 263
Frank Zappa - Intro (The Yellow Shark Album)
- 264
Frank Zappa - Invocation And Ritual Dance Of The Young Pumpkin
- 265
Frank Zappa - It Can't Happen Here
- 266
Frank Zappa - It Just Might Be A One-Shot Deal
- 267
Frank Zappa - JCB & Kansas On The Bus #1
- 268
Frank Zappa - JCB & Kansas On The Bus #2
- 269
Frank Zappa - Jelly Roll Gum Drop
- 270
Frank Zappa - Jezebel Boy
- 271
Frank Zappa - Johnny Darling
- 272
Frank Zappa - Jones Crusher
- 273
Frank Zappa - Jumbo Go Away
- 274
Frank Zappa - Just One More Time
- 275
Frank Zappa - Kaiser Rolls
- 276
Frank Zappa - Kangaroos
- 277
Frank Zappa - Keep It Greasey
- 278
Frank Zappa - Keep It Greasy
- 279
Frank Zappa - Kenny's Booger Story
- 280
Frank Zappa - King Kong
- 281
Frank Zappa - Later That Night
- 282
Frank Zappa - Latex Solar Beef
- 283
Frank Zappa - Lemme Take You To The Beach
- 284
Frank Zappa - Let's Move To Cleveland
- 285
Frank Zappa - Library Card
- 286
Frank Zappa - Like It Or Not
- 287
Frank Zappa - Little Girl Of Mine
- 288
Frank Zappa - Little Green Scratchy Sweaters & Courturoy Ponce
- 289
Frank Zappa - Little House I Used To Live In
- 290
Frank Zappa - Little House I Used To Live In (in album Fillmore East )
- 291
Frank Zappa - Little Umbrellas
- 292
Frank Zappa - Lonely Little Girl
- 293
Frank Zappa - Lonesome Cowboy Burt
- 294
Frank Zappa - Lonesome Electric Turkey
- 295
Frank Zappa - Lost In A Whirlpool
- 296
Frank Zappa - Louie Louie
- 297
Frank Zappa - Love Story
- 298
Frank Zappa - Lucille Has Messed My Mind Up
- 299
Frank Zappa - Lucille Has Messed My Mind Up (in album You Can't do That On Stage Anymore vol 3)
- 300
Frank Zappa - Lumpy Gravy I
Dental Hygeine Dilemma
Frank Zappa
Howard Kaylan (vocals)
Ian Underwood (keyboards, woodwinds)
Aynsley Dunbar (drums)
George Duke (keyboards, trombone)
Martin Lickert (bass)
Ruth Underwood (orchestra drum set)
Jim Pons (vocals)
Bad Concience:
han min noon toon han toon han
Good Concience:
No, Jeff!
Bad Concience:
han toon ran toon ran toon fran min han toon ran toon nan toon fram
Good Concience:
No no no!
Jeff Simmons:
Man! This stuff is great! It's just as if Donovan himself had appeared on my very own TV with words of peace, love, and eternal cosmic wisdom. Leading me. Guiding me. On paths of everlasting pseudo-karmic negligence, in the very midst of my drug-induced nocturnal emission.
Good Concience:
Oh, I am your good conscience, Jeff. I know all. I see all. I am a cosmic love pulse matrix, becoming a technicolor interpositive.
Jeff Simmons:
Hmm? Where'd you buy that incense? It's hip.
Good Concience:
It's the same mysterious exotic oriental fragrance as what the Beatles get off on.
Jeff Simmons:
I thought I recognized it. Mmm, what is that, musk?
Good Concience:
Jeff, I know what's good for you.
Jeff Simmons:
Right. You're heavy.
Good Concience:
Yes Jeff, I am your guiding light. Listen to me. Don't rip off the towels Jeff!
Bad Concience:
Kiss off, you little nitwit.
Jeff Simmons:
Hey man, what's the deal?
Good Concience:
Don't listen to him Jeff, he's no good. He'll make you do bad things!
Jeff Simmons:
You mean, he'll make me sin?
Good Concience:
Yes, Jeff. SIN!
Jeff Simmons:
Wow!
Bad Concience:
Jeff, I'd like to have a word with you. About your soul.
Good Concience:
No, don't listen Jeff.
Bad Concience:
Why are you wasting your life, night after night playing this comedy music?
Jeff Simmons:
You're right, I'm too heavy to be in this group.
Good Concience:
Comedy music.
Bad Concience:
Jeff, your soul!
Jeff Simmons:
In this group, all I ever get to do is play Zappa's comedy music. He eats!
Bad Concience:
Jeff!
Jeff Simmons:
I get so tense.
Bad Concience:
Of course you do my boy.
Jeff Simmons:
The stuff he makes me do is always off the wall.
Bad Concience:
That's why it would be best to leave his stern employ.
Jeff Simmons:
And quit the group!
Bad Concience:
You'll make it big!
Jeff Simmons:
That's right.
Bad Concience:
Of course!
Jeff Simmons:
And then I won't be small!
Ahmet Ertegun used this towel as a bathmat six weeks ago at a rancid motel in Orlando, Florida, with the highest mildew rating of any commercial lodging facility within the territorial limits of the United States, naturally excluding tropical possessions. It's still damp. What an aroma! This is the best I ever got off! What can I say about this elixir? Try it on steaks! Cleans nylons! Small craft warnings! It's made for the home! The office! On fruits!
Bad Concience:
This is the real you, Jeff. Rip off a few more ashtrays. Get rid of some of that inner tension. Quit the comedy group! Get your own group together. Heavy! Like Grand Funk, or Black Sabbath.
Good Concience:
No, Jeff. ??:
[?We're coming]
Good Concience:
Peace. Love.
Bad Concience:
Bollocks.
Mark Volman & Howard Kaylan:
What can I say about this elixir?
Mark Volman:
Jeff has gone out there on that stuff!
Bad Concience:
He should have never have used the elixir and only stuck to the incense. Oh, Atlantis.
Mark Volman:
That was Billy the Mountain, dressed up like Donovan, fading out on the wall-mounted TV screen. Jeff _is_ flipping out. Road fatigue! We've got to get him back to normal before Zappa finds out, and steals it, and makes him do it in the movie.
Bad Concience:
You have a brilliant career ahead of you my boy. Just get out of this group!
Mark Volman:
Howard, that was Studebacher Hoch, dressed up like Jim Pons, giving career guidance to the bass player of a rock-oriented comedy group. Jeff's imagination has gone beyond the fringe of audience comprehension.
Howard Kaylan:
Jeff, Jeff it's me the Phlorescent Leech!
Mark Volman:
Jeff, Jeff it's me, Eddie!
Mark Volman & Howard Kaylan:
Wowwww! What can I say about this elixir?
{note: the following three paragraphs are simultaneous and with wildly} {fluctuating pitch. A turntable with a detachable drive is still a useful} {tool! -cgk}
Mark Volman & Howard Kaylan:
Put it on your steaks, uh, send it overseas, [? ? ? ?], and put it on you surfboard so you won't slip off. Try it on your [? ? ?], and on the, the red balloons, you can blow up all balloons with it. Put it on your... heh. On your pizza. Put it on your shoes, tie your mic with it, and fill up your tires with it.
Use it to clean your swimming pool, sell it to your mother and tell her it's a tie-die kit, you won't even believe what'll happen when you starch your shirt with it, ironing goes easier and your car windows never looked better in your whole life. Ladies and gentlemen, you can inhale it, and it makes your voice three keys higher, and you can't even stand what happens when you put it on your hair, as hair tonic. Heh, heh. And if you ever tried it as a...
Soak your shirts in it, soak your teeth in it. Let it play the piano. Follow it around the block. Wear it instead of jeans. Bathe you puppies with it. Feed it to your ducks. Use it instead of chlorine in your swimming pool. Breathe it. [?] it.
What?
Wowwwwww!
What can I?
Wowwwwww!
What? What can I say about this?
Wowwwwww!