1. 1

    Chaz Cardigan - As I'll Ever Be

  2. 2

    Chaz Cardigan - Not Ok!

18 with a hammer at my senior prom
Ripping couches in the basement of a country club
That was my first panic attack
I knew couldn’t get my youth all back
I got a temper from my old man, used to black out
Then I started drinking liquor 'til my cash ran down
I was living in the house with the band
Couldn’t pay rent, couldn’t keep a job, didn’t have a plan

Some days, man I’ve got it all together
Most days though I’m just trying to get better

Everybody’s got that something
We can’t fix with love or money
Even when it pulls me under
Get so high that it just seems funny
How many times can I fake it
Before it breaks me, I’m not okay
I’m not okay
Everyone feels like they’re crazy
Why can’t I say it? I’m not okay
I’m not okay!
I’m not okay

23 and skipping obligations
For some fake crush when I start to lose my patience
I get stoned on going too fast
And what a rush when we finally crash
I know a little bit more now than I used to
But at the cost I payed, I’m pretty sure I got screwed
I spent a few nights sleeping in my car
Took it too far a couple times getting kicked out of the bar
Some days, man I’ve got it all together
Most days though I’m just trying to get better

Everybody’s got that something
We can’t fix with love or money
Even when it pulls me under
Get so high that it just seems funny
How many times can I fake it
Before it breaks me, I’m not okay
I’m not okay
Everyone feels like they’re crazy
Why can’t I say it? I’m not okay
I’m not okay!
I’m not okay

Maybe when 50 I’ll figure it out
Get my shit put together in a nice clean house
Maybe that’s a pipe dream

Everybody’s got that something we can’t fix with love or money
Even when it pulls me under
Get so high that it just seems funny
How many times can I fake it
Before it breaks me, I’m not okay
I’m not okay
Everyone feels like they’re crazy
Why can’t I say it? I’m not okay
I’m not okay!

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