Master Charge (version 1)

I got my wife a charge card
Just the other day
I owe five hundred dollars
Just for yesterday

I said, "Honey, here's a present
Go out and shop around,
buy you a couple a-dresses,
browse around downtown"

She did just what I told her
Bought one, two, three
Came home lookin' silly
Makin' goo-goo eyes at me

Mastercharge, I'll break an' bury her card
Mastercharge, I'll break an' bury her card
Mastercharge, I'll break an' bury her card

Oh yeah, charge it!

Said, "Did you get your dress?"
"Yes, one or two"
I needed me some shoes,
I needed some jewelry, too"

Two hundred dollar dresses
I could-a made, I can't sew
It made me so mad
I could call her a so and so

Mastercharge, I'll break an' bury her card
Mastercharge, break an' bury her card
Mastercharge, break an' bury her card

Oh yeah, charge it for me, charge it, baby!

Hey! Ow!

For one-a that gal's dresses, yeah
I paid one and a half
I'm so mad, I just had to laugh

I could see in my mind
On a horse like Paul Revere
Hate to check my mail boxes
'Cause these bills keep comin' here

Mastercharge, break an' bury her card
Mastercharge, break an' bury her card
Mastercharge, break an' bury her card

Oh, let's charge it!

(Speaks with instrumental back up)

"Oh, don't get too much on the bill, dear"
("Oh, I put five hundred dollars already, baby")
"Yeah, but I know, but I'm-a, you know that, that, that, 18% is killin' me!"
"Yeah, I understand darlin', but I know you wanna charge it an' everything but, yeah, darlin' "
("They have 'American Express")
"But, wait a minute, man, I, I told ya to take that Master Card with ya
And take one wit' ya and leave one at home
"But you look good in them blue jeans, though"
("Yeah, I understand about dresses")
Yeah, they got 'em on sale up there, upside the wall, there"
"Fifteen dollars, man, on sale darlin', here, let me look for ya"
"I'm gonna bet you, be struttin' down the street in them blue jeans, haha"

"Yeah, but you can even wear them dresses on the weekend"
"Yeah, I hear ya baby, well charge it then baby, that's alright, yeah"

("I have a Visa"!)

"What"? (heh, heh)
"Give me the scissors, I'm gonna cut 'em up"

Well, you ought to be ashamed of yourself, you!"

"Yeah I know, darlin', I am"

("Charge it")

"Here, go on charge, darlin' "

"I'm guilty callin' em, I know you're gonna charge it anyway"

"Ooh, I know you gonna look good in them blue jeans
You look like you been poured in 'em"!

(Fading)
Oh, charge it baby!
Yeah, I see you later on, an' hour
I'm gone to work here, n' when I come back
I wanna see you with them jeans on, baby

Yeah, love her, yeah, you look good baby
Yeah, I know, I know... (fades out to end)