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The Peeper

Adam Sandler

singers: The Peeper, The Peeper, whats goin' through his head? woah!

[Leaves rusteling]
Peeper: Climin' the tree. slowly. quietly. lookin' for next branch. found it. got it. windo high. great view. settelin' in. keepin' it quiet. hidden. heart pounding through chest. waiting. lookin' around. nervous. lights on, jackpot, here she is. oh my. no pants. classey. not to tight. walkin around the room. no idea Im here. lovin' it. Rubbin her feet. tough day. relaxin'. hops off bed, goin twards bathroom. shuttin' the door. alone again... waiting. lookin' around. board. pullin' out nippel clips. Painful! ow... but these are a bit.

[door opening]
Bathroom door opens. lovin' it. oooh my.... hairs in a pony tale. she picks up the tv clicker. click

[tv makes noises]
sittin' back. watchin. watchin' her watch. lovin it.

[giggling]
she laughs. ha ha ha. I laugh. oh yea. sharin a moment.

[dog panting]
theres a dog. not good.

[sniffing]
he can smell me. should've shoured.

[barking]
barkin. wont leave. oh no, here she comes. stayin motionless. fuckin' dogs loosin it.

[window open]
girl: Bud! you be quiet and go home like a good boy.
[dog stops barking and walks off]
Peeper: dosnt see me. she's gorgous. Im grotesque.

[knock]
Peeper: knock at front door! she goes to answer!

[door opens]
Peeper: Its him.... chizzeled features.. they kiss. Im fuming. also hard. hatin' myself. sniffin fingers.
woman: ohhh...
Peeper: she moans! ohhhh! I moan. He looks up. busted. should not have moaned...
[footsteps]
Peeper: he walks toword windo. muscular
man: this guy. gotta be fuckin kiddin me
Peeper: full of rage. looking right at me.
man: theres a guy in the tree out here.
Peeper: full of shame.

woman: are you serious?
Peeper: completely worthless. hard as a rock.
man: I see you shit head! well the cops are comin you sick fuck! and if you even think of runnin away Ill bash your fuckin' skull with a lead pipe!
Peeper: stayin still. motionless. pretending to be a squirrel.
[squirrel noises]
[dialing]
Peeper: not working. shes calling. dreams shattered
[talking]
Peeper: ultamate humiliation.
[squirt]
Peeper: ejaculating.

man: AWWW!!! YOU GROSS PIG! YOUR A PIECE OF SHIT YA KNOW THAT!
Peeper: yes I do... cant help myself.
[car pulling up and door opening]
cop: L.A.P.D. get down from the tree buddy.
[squirrel noises]
Peeper: trying the squirrel thing again. looking for a nut.
cop: I said get down from there!
Peeper: down I go...
[Slam, slam, slam, slam]
Peeper: Oh!
woman: I hope they put you im for a long time! you need some serious help you ass hole!
Peeper walking away: I know I do... Its an addiction
cop: lets go big guy, c'mon
Peeper: wifes going to kill me.
cop: dont be doing this shit mr... nippel clips.
[Peeper slamming into cp car seat]
Peeper: handcuffed... cant sniff fingers...
[door slams and engine warms up]
Peeper: please piss on me...
cop: yea, this is officer Tyler, everythings under controle.
Peeper: PLEASE piss on me? If somebody could piss on me, that would be great.
singers: The peeper, belly eaper, hes goin off to jail! WOAH!

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